Theology?
Denying oneself is a complex idea and theology. It’s even more complex when it’s personal!
Deny myself.
I have seen some of its fruit to know that it is something I need more of, but what is it exactly? ‘Exactly’ in me – when I’m working, shopping, driving, chatting and just trying to figure out how to live without grave-clothes?
It didn’t look at all the same for Solomon as it did for Paul.
Real Life.
Perhaps it begins with this thought…You have not come to deny me fullness and deny my desires.
The very different calls of Solomon and Paul reveal a new picture for me. Two men, chosen by God, with two very different calls. Their common thread? Hearing and obeying. And their common results? Fullness of spirit. One in a palace, one in a prison.
I have neither lived like Solomon, nor suffered like Paul. But I can model their theology. Hear and obey…denying personal tendencies in trade for a spirit that is free and alive.
They had seen You clearly, heard You speak and traded the old for something new.
It gave them a direction…and new tendencies that revealed Your heart, more than their own.
Personal Tendencies.
I have a lot of them. I tend to self-preserve. I tend towards doing. I tend towards the seen. I tend to blend.
That certainly doesn’t cover them all but it sure sheds light on my tendency to not love well.
You have tempered me enough by Your amazing Grace to keep all havoc from breaking loose with such ugly tendencies. I’m grateful.
But I want to experience more than just Your Grace. I want the fullness of spirit that overrides my circumstances. Really living. Really loving.
I want to make a trade.
Choices.
Seeing & hearing. Hearing & obeying. New tendencies.
I can choose new behaviors (i.e. tendencies) while working, shopping, driving, and chatting, but what I really need is a new heart. A hearing, seeing, obeying heart.
With You at the forefront of my heart, may my unusable tendencies be found less and less.
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living! 